This won’t come as a surprise to you, but traditionally around 40% of all proposals happen between the start of December and Valentine’s day. Lads, if you’re thinking of taking the plunge this winter, Elite Marquees have had a fun look at some helpful tips, advice and things to think about if you’re looking to make the next step in the next few weeks.
Proposals can be hard. If they weren’t, we’d would just call them “Hey, I have a quick question for you”.
If you go over the top, your potential would be bride maybe-to-be could panic and curl into a ball on the floor.
Go too small? Now you’ve turned a once-in-a-lifetime moment into the equivalent of a What should we order for dinner? conversation.
Our advice is to look for middle ground out and don’t over think it.
A good place to start.
Before you ask, know the answer.
You would have a good idea in your head whether this is right or not. Therefore a proposal shouldn’t be a complete surprise. This is because you two might have discussed it and know you’re on the same page about the whole forever-and-ever thing, or it’s so obvious that it passed into inevitability a while ago.
We don’t think you should propose to a woman you’ve been dating for three weeks—even if you do think she’s the one (believe us, it does happen). But chances are, she will say no. Entering into Marriage is a two-way street, there’s not one woman in the world who wants to kick a guy when he’s already down, on bended knee.
Ask her parents’ permission
If her parents are old-fashioned, and your significant other to be wouldn’t mind, you could consider asking her parents for their daughter’s hand in marriage. Although asking a father’s permission is considered by many to be old-fashioned, it hasn’t died out precisely because it’s a gesture that suggests that you respect her and her family and that you’re always going to be considerate of her family. It’s also a sign of politeness, and what family can resist that? But again, it really depends on the girl and her family situation, so try to feel it out.
Another modern twist on asking for permission is to do so after you’ve proposed. This can be a way of ensuring that your wife-to-be is the first to be asked but she’s aware that you still intend to bring her family right into the fold by asking; this can also be a good excuse to turn up together to share the news. Some people consider that this is the “wrong way around” but it’s still a sign of respect, and frankly, it’s your choice.
If it isn’t possible to ask her father, then certainly ask her mother.
Practice Makes Perfect
The old saying, “woman like confidence” is too true here, you want your woman to say yes, last thing she wants is a Boris Johnson style bumbling fool who stutters and barley gets the killer sentence out. You won’t have a teleprompter on you, you can’t read from notes, so we think it’s So it is highly advisable that you think about what you want to say, maybe even write it down and read it in front of the mirror a couple of times. Plus, it’s fairly important that she gets the impression you’re super-certain about this.
Consider how you will propose.
Once you’ve decided the when and the where, the intimate details of the how need consideration. Naturally, there is the ring to produce, but what other elements do you need to think about to truly make this an especially memorable and romantic occasion for her?
Bear in mind that the manner in which you propose will be retold by her many times over, so make sure it’s good! There are many possibilities and it’s entirely up to you what you do but for some inspiration, here are some suggestions.
Try the traditional pose. Bend down on one knee, take her hand in yours and ask her to marry you. The beauty of this gesture is that it’s universally recognised thanks to the movies, and it can be performed anywhere. Just note that if there are other people around, they’ll be eavesdropping (kindly!), so expect their interest and support.
Get a sense of whether she’d like something public or a bit more private. Though many women are proposed to in public in the movies, in real life, most engagements are private. You may think it’s a great idea to propose to hear at half-time during a sporting event or at an intimate party with several of your friends around, but she may be mortified by all of the attention. Plus, if it doesn’t go well, you’ll feel even worse in front of a bunch of people.
Think about things that might accompany the occasion, such as a quartet playing a tune or a serenade, or a tiny fireworks display, etc. These sorts of extras are not necessary and they will bloat the budget unless you’ve got willing friends to help out, but if it’s your kind of thing, they can add to the atmosphere.
Hide the ring. This is another popular method for proposing that requires her to find the ring, and then you do the proposing. Places to hide a ring include inside flowers, chocolates, or a special gift. Be sure to ask her to open the gift at the time, or you might be waiting ages! And take great care not to hide it somewhere that she can accidentally swallow it; that’ll put a big dent in the occasion.
· Be creative. If you’re not so traditional or you’re not that keen to say the proposal yourself, there can be a number of other ideas for proposing that involve some more planning but can be really entertaining as well as confirming for her that you’re the kooky guy she wants to spend the rest of her life with. You could prepare her very own word puzzle or crossword in which the final answer spells “Will you marry me?”.
You can do something small and cute involving children in your families, or even a pet that you own together.
If you have the means and think she’ll like it, you could have a plane write the question across the sky as the two of you are walking along.
Proposing on a holiday is another popular move. If you do this, just make sure that she’ll say yes!
Be well dressed.
Dress handsomely, according to the occasion and choice of place. as can be. This is very special and it deserves to be “picture perfect”. She’ll appreciate the effort you’ve gone to. Naturally, this only applies where you’re planning to propose somewhere elegant and you have time to change beforehand. If you’re proposing on the beach, during a hike, skiing, or as you’re skydiving, use your common sense about what to wear!
And finally . . . the actual proposal.
There is no time like the present to move on with your carefully thought through plan. Bring her along to “the place” and start unfolding your plans. Be sure that you don’t give things away by touching the ring in your pocket constantly, or saying daft things. If you’re bringing her to a place she’s never been before, or somewhere extra romantic, and you have a feeling that if you’re there for more than thirty seconds, she’ll know exactly what you’re up to, then try to propose as soon as you can, so you don’t lose any of the surprise factor.
There may be tears, screaming, or shock. Don’t be fazed; these are fairly standard reactions, even if she has every clue of what you’re about to do. It’s not real to her until it’s done!
If she says yes, end the proposal with a kiss or a hug. And don’t forget to put a ring on her finger!